Saturday, October 12, 2013

Does the Xbox kinect offer no-controller action?

The Xbox Kinect is a marvellous thing. I’ve always wanted to take gaming matters into my own hands, like some sort of deranged geek vigilante.

“If I didn’t have to rely on these buttons so damn much” I frequently grumble, “I’d grab that monster and kick it in myself!”


Case in point, there’s a fat bloke in Pokemon (it doesn’t matter which version of Pokemon, there’s always a f*cking fat bloke) who stands in your way and stubbornly refuses to move until you have performed some task or the other. Now, if this was real life and some fat chunder-monkey was barring my way, I’d grab him by the scruff of the neck and kick seven bells out of him before moving onto the next city. I’m not really that agressive, but I’ve only got so much patience for that sort of behaviour, y’know?


Maybe that’s how Team Rocket and that lot get started? Maybe we’ve misjudged them all these years…Maybe they just got sick of fat blokes, people with spurious stomach-aches and Snorlax after bleedin’ Snorlax blocking their progress. They love cats and, with the exception of Blowfeld, Dr. Evil and a plethora of other classic villains, cat lovers can’t be bad people, can they?


Anyway, the Kinect finally gives you the opportunity to use your own body as the controller. When you throw a punch on Kinect, you’ll be using you’re own arm, when you run from danger, it’ll be as fast as your own legs can carry you. Now, the Xbox 360 with kinect bundle is putting all of these great things in one place, making it easier than ever to get playing the greatest gaming innovation since Sonic 2 allowed you to push down and ‘B’ in order to get up hills without running all the way back where you came from.


That’s right, the Xbox 360 with kinect bundle is the future of gaming technology. At last you can get stuck in like you’ve always wanted to. The day is finally here where you can play a game without resorting to controllers and other gizmos. Yep, the future is here and its Kinect-shaped…I know what you geeks are thinking, because I’m thinking it too, we’re one step closer to the invention of the Holodeck…Yay!  

Does the Xbox kinect offer no-controller action?

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